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5 Things I Hate Most About Linux

The GNU/Linux computer operating system created through the sewing of miscellaneous Richard Stallman body parts around Linus Torvalds‘ heart is not perfect. Here’s a list of my 5 top pet peeves:

  • coming in at #5 is the fact that using the GNU/Linux operating system causes me great distress due to the guilt of not having paid $300+ to purchase this operating system in a very earth-unfriendly, made-in-China package from my local Bloat Buy retail software outlet.
  • #4 would, of course, be the pain caused by my empathetic tendencies toward those poor souls out there using other operating systems, and my terrible evangelistic need to convert them all. I’m becoming a damned Jehovah’s Witness of GNU/Linux… *Knock-Knock* “Hello, ma’am. I’d like to talk with you a bit today about the everlasting joy of Linux. Come to the light with me, won’t you? Yes, you can bring your cat, too.”
  • 3rd on the list is the fact that GNU/Linux does not follow the engineered obsolescence business plan that has kept free markets and manufacturing buzzing for the past 50 years. It is instead a steady, long-life item that will eventually put many folks out of work. Besides, the best distributions are given away for no cost at all. What’s up with this? This is NOT your granddad’s Capitalism, comrades.
  • my 2nd most peeving peeve is the gnawing certainty that the GNU/Linux was actually a technology that the C.I.A. leaked after discovering its usage in the computers on that crashed alien craft that’s kept in storage in Area 51. No current human intellect could have come up with something so efficient and useful. I think the aliens may have assimilated us without our knowledge or consent. Maybe that’s a good thing, upon further reflection.
  • and first/foremost on my list is the fact that GNU/Linux has increased my boredom exponentially over the last 5 years. I no longer have to run crap cleaners, antivirus apps, defraggers, malware hunters, cookie cullers, bloated/inefficient backup apps, etc. Sheeesh! I have all this time on my hands to do really useful computer stuff nowadays. So, what do I do? I choose to sit here and tap out masterpieces such as this one for your entertainment and enlightenment.

I HATE Linux! I love that little penguin, though.

Later…

 

~Eric

*A reposting from my Nocturnal Slacker (Lockergnome.com) blog. Thanks for reading/commenting.

 

 

 

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