Dear Adelie,
Do you know anyone who would be interested in a divorced unemployed single parent who’s over 40?
— Lonely in Linux
Yes, but I make it a policy never to indulge in matchmaking. Before I took this pledge, I found most of my friends would come back to me and say, “I can’t believe you thought I’d like him.” Goodness, why not? You both write code all day and stay up until 3 a.m. playing Unreal Doom. You live on fast food and Red Bull. Maybe some people are just not meant to reproduce! Ahem, so sorry, I’m clearly still scarred from the experience.
Dear Adelie,
I have been looking for a good, positive, and active chat environ where I can go to discuss my latest query, ideas, or project with likeminded people. I was hoping that you might have found such a place.
— Wren
Perhaps you should just message the gentleman whose letter is above. I spend most of my online chatting time in ornithological porn rooms trading JPGs of well-built Emperor penguins, so you’re asking the wrong lady. Perhaps one of our readers will comment.
Dear Adelie,
I received a small box in the mail from HP and AMD. Hoping it was a free CPU, I was disappointed to find instead a protein bar. Assuming I don’t want to eat it, what’s the best way for me to use it?
— I. Tinker
You could always send it to me, care of my editors at OSTG. A steady diet of herring is nourishing, but a little numbing for the taste buds. I also accept trinkets and other small tokens of affection. To my fan at McMurdo Station — the ice from home would have been greatly appreciated, but what arrived was an empty soggy box. But thank you — it’s the thought that counts.
Dear Adelie,
Where would I find an octothorpe?
— Lexicographer
Look above the numeral 3 on your keyboard.
Ask Adelie your question. Adelie thanks you all for writing, but regrets that she cannot provide personal answers to all questions.
Category:
- Humor
