Author: David 'cdlu' Graham
“Our investigation has been comprehensive,” FBI spokesman William Tell said, “and we believe Peer was working on his own.”
“He has caused tens of millions of dollars in lost productivity to individuals and businesses throughout the world through his terrorist actions,” Tell continued at his press conference earlier this morning. “Nearly everyone on the Internet is familiar with his work and fears the very name of Peer. Our message to the American people and to the World is that there is no more reason to fear Peer.”
Peer, whose real name is yet to be disclosed, is credited with terminating countless thousands of active network connections the world over. His work was widespread and easily recognisable by his trademark message: “Connection reset by Peer”.
While noone is exactly sure how Peer carried out his activities, it is believed he had access to the Internet from his basement, and that he has been seen wearing a trenchcoat. According to spokesman Tell, it was because of the trenchcoat that the FBI was able to find him and arrest him.
After receiving an anonymous tip about the trenchcoat wearing Peer, the FBI set up a wiretap on his home internet connection. It was clear immediately that they had found their man as they found literally hundreds of connections reset by Peer every day, far too many to merely be a victim of the notorious Peer.
“We believe that Peer is responsible for another of the large problems on the Internet that has shown in the past few years,” Mr. Tell said. “Peer to Peer connections have consumed the Internet’s infrastructure eating up large volumes of bandwidth and depriving individuals and businesses of the connectivity they need,
and depriving the entertainment industry of much needed revenue. We are unable to prove this link, however, and will not speculate about it publically.”
United States Department of Homeland Security chief Tom Ridge is expected to make a statement later this afternoon.
