Oh, to what depths have terrorists descended? Now even innocent-looking little batteries will have to be frisked in airport terminals.
Nokia, the world's largest cell phone maker, is mad as hell and not going to take any more of this. The company said Thursday that is going to mount a campaign against the makers of counterfeit batteries that reportedly are responsible for several of its phones exploding.
"Consumer safety is our top concern," Janne Jormalainen, the company's vice president for mobile enhancements said in a statement that ran in CMP's Mobilepipeline.com. "We believe consumers are unknowingly being fooled into buying unsafe, low-quality batteries and we are actively taking measures to combat the illegal counterfeit operation."
The company said it would soon announce what it called "aggressive, regional anti-counterfeit measures." However, it did not specify what those measures would be, because it claimed it didn't want to tip off the counterfeiters.
Perhaps Nokia will appeal to the software development community at large to come up with a new battery-sensitive security application that authenticates any battery trying to take up residence inside the unit. When the rogues are discovered, they can be sent to the power-cell authorities to undergo thorough cross-examination under blinding spotlamps. If they don't talk, and tell us who made them, then out to the recyling bin they go. They shouldn't be allowed even a spark of hope.
Nokia did say that the war on battery counterfeiting will be difficult. Natch. "We are dealing with a very sophisticated enemy who has become very adept at manufacturing products, which to the average consumer appear to be Nokia original accessories," Jormalainen said in his statement.
Hmm. This just cannot be allowed. Our cell phones are too important to us. We can't have them blowing up in our ears. Don't let this scenario happen to you:
Man flips open cell phone. Checks caller ID. Pushes talk button.
" ... Hello? ... Oh, hi, Joe. Yeah, I'm doing okay today. How's the wife and ..."
Stunned silence. Phone blown to smithereens. Evaluation of extent of injuries. Anger, then rage:
"This is the absolute last time I shop for batteries on eBay!"