Numbers to be patentable

In a move that has surprised naïve observers, the US Patent Office has announced that from now on it will consider serious applications to patent
specific integer numbers.

“It was the logical next step,” grey-haired and twinkling Patent Laureate Mr J Dall Swanhuffer twinkled to a shocked press conference today.
“Remember human genes. Certain doubting Duanes used to argue that, just because nobody invented them, they couldnt be patented. ‘What will the
patent-holder do if I happen to have a patented gene in my body? Shoot me?’ they used to jeer. Well, those wiseacres were proved wrong then, and
theyre going to be proved wrong again.