“California-based company launches feasibility study for outsourcing software development to Mars
April 1, 2004 – Glendale, CA — Following NASA’s announcement that “substantial” amounts
of liquid water once existed on Mars, Art & Logic, Inc. (http://www.artlogic.com)
is studying the feasibility of outsourcing computer programming tasks to the
Red Planet. The company hopes to establish early dominance in the Martian outsourcing
market, should a Martian civilization ever be discovered.
Some industry analysts believe Art & Logic has entered the Martian outsourcing
game too early. Citing the lack of lifeforms and breathable atmosphere, skeptics
think the company’s research spending is running amok.
“That kind of criticism doesn’t intimidate us,” says Art & Logic
R&D Director Tom Bajoras. “As outsourcing innovators, we’ve learned
to disregard public opinion. In this case, our spreadsheets indicate that outsourcing
is more cost-effective than relocating the Martians.”
“Our hiring decisions are made on the basis of raw talent, not geography,” says
Art & Logic HR Manager Lucy Kabooly. “We hire the best programmers
in the universe, and we would happily accept applications from Martians if
they’re willing to complete our programming test.”
In response to scoffers who suggest that Martian minds might be fundamentally
different, somehow causing Martian programmers to lack the creativity needed
to solve complex software problems, Kabooly says, “That is nothing more
than prejudice. We believe anything that has DNA is going to think in compatible
ways. That’s assuming of course that they have DNA. But we’re already working
on a new version of our personality profiling test to address that problem.”
“We expect that Martians will be happy to master English as a prerequisite
for joining the new multi-global economy,” says Kabooly. Still, the company
is considering having an Earth-based office to act as an intermediary between
clients and off-world programmers.
When asked how Art & Logic would handle the synchronization of Mars/Earth
days, Bajoras explains that Martian programmers would have an edge over their
Earthling counterparts because of the additional 40 minutes in each Martian
day. “Over the course of a single year,” he says, “Martian programmers
can work 10 more days than programmers on Earth. In terms of worker productivity,
that’s a significant advantage.”
Art & Logic began investigating the possibility of off-world outsourcing
by evaluating several planets, including Mars, Neptune, and Talos IV. “We
chose Mars after our initial research revealed the existence of some crucial
technologies, including state-of-the-art satellite communications and widespread
use of solar power,” says Bajoras. “If a society is found, it will
likely be a highly advanced one which is capable of making achievements in
computer science.”
As to possible technical compatibility issues, Bajoras says “We’re assuming
that they’d already be using Windows. There’s some concern however that Martian
viruses might be different than ours, so we’re looking into a way to quarantine
all files that are transferred between us. Otherwise we risk a software pandemic
that could wipe out every PC on our planet.”
Founded in 1991, Art & Logic’s main office is located just five minutes
from NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory (JPL). “Our proximity to JPL gives
us clear advantages,” says CEO Paul Hershenson. “I’m pretty sure
I saw Buzz Aldrin at a local Starbucks once.”
About Art & Logic, Inc.
Art & Logic (http://www.artlogic.com)
develops software on a work-for-hire
basis for clients in diverse industries including audio/media, online learning,
entertainment, imaging, broadcast, networking, and others. The company was
recently named #19 on the 2003 Purple Squirrel 100, the Talent Economy magazine’s
list of the fastest growing IT outsourcing companies.
Contact
Paul Hershenson
818-500-1933 x102
info@artlogic.com“
Link: artlogic.com
Category:
- Humor
