April 1, 2008

Web 2.0 tossed aside in favor of Web 3.14159265358979323846…

Author: Linux.com Staff

HOAXVILLE, USA -- In a stunning and unexpected announcement, Tim O'Really, founder of O'Really Publishing and the O'Really Network, announced today that "Web 2.0 is history, not that anyone ever really understood what it meant, anyway. In its place we offer Web 3.14159265358979323846ââ¬Â¦"

O'Really said he expects to hold numerous Web 3.14159265358979323846ââ¬Â¦ conferences that will "bring together a diverse crowd of lonely geeks with too much time on their hands, gullible investors, and marketing people looking for new buzzwords they can use in their PowerPoint presentations."

In response, Aaron Emptyson of MindBotch Technologies announced plans to hold a "Web 1.6180339887..." conference across the street from O'Really's confab.

"Web 3.14159265358979323846ââ¬Â¦ is nothing but circular reasoning," Emptyson said. "We don't need Web Pi. We need Web Phi -- the golden ratio. Which would you rather be? Round or golden?"

O'Really's Web 3.14159265358979323846ââ¬Â¦ conference will cost $$$$$3,141.59 to attend. "We're not making the price this high just so we can make money," O'Really told us in an imaginary (but exclusive) interview. "We want to make sure none of the free software riff-raff can afford to come."

Emptyson, a firm free (or at least cheap) software advocate, promised that his convention would only cost $$$1,618, a price he claimed "has no special significance whatsoever, and includes free scuba lessons so that attendees can learn to look beneath the surface of specious announcement like Tim's."

O'Really has copyrighted the term, "Web 3.14159265358979323846ââ¬Â¦," and says he will "vigorously defend our exclusive use of it in court, no matter how many rounds we have to fight with the 'information wants to be free' pukes who use the Web to run roughshod over legitimate Imaginary Property profiteers like Amazon, Microsoft, Metallica, and... well... me."

As expected, Cheap Software Foundation founder Ricardo Stallguy immediately issued a verbal fusillade against both O'Really and Emptyson. He also revealed plans to hold his own conference called Web 3.1415926535 8979323846 2643383279 5028841971 6939937510 5820974944 5923078164 0628620899 8628034825 3421170679 8214808651...

The cost to attend the Web 3.1415926535 8979323846 2643383279 5028841971 6939937510 5820974944 5923078164 0628620899 8628034825 3421170679 8214808651... conference will be $3.14. And, Stallguy says, "We will offer student and senior discounts, plus we have a fellowship program for those who would like to attend but have no funds at all. To apply, all you have to do is write a 5,000 word essay -- using emacs, please -- telling us why you are a worthy candidate for inclusion."

-42-

Category:

  • Humor
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